Onko teillä ehkä kirje minulle, hän kysyi kuiskaten matalalla äänellä.
Yes I am following the blue dot thank you very much!
I can’t do this anymore, I just can’t... this is so pathetic. My life has been taken from me! I have been literally walking up and down this same street for thirty minutes now...
I hate this dot. I hate this machine, I hate you, I hate me, I hate everything. Hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate, hate! There, I said it, I hate!
Sobbing
I am a sad, sad person. I don’t mean to be...
More sobbing
I don’t hate, I really don’t. I love... so much.
I love going to yoga. I love everything about it. I love the way the teacher welcomes us with a breathy, comforting voice, the way we have to leave our shoes at the entrance, the way they give you tea and it’s not allowed inside the studio, the way that one woman always takes it in with her anyway and then we give her disapproving yet empathetic looks. I love the way it smells in there and the way they sanitise all the mats with tea tree oil after every class. I love that they give you little magnets with wisdoms on them for free. They keep them in a small bowl outside the studio and sometimes when I’m waiting for my class to start I just sit there and touch them. I love the book about retreats in California and when I leave the studio I love fondling the active wear dreamily in a state of yogic bliss knowing I can’t afford to buy any of that shit.
I’ve been going to these schools for more than a decade now. I’ve done the discovery pass in every European city and in quite a few outside of Europe as well. But now it’s all gone to shit. Europe is in lockdown and I can’t get from North to South. I can’t even get to where this dot is taking me.
A German Shepherd on the loose
Oh hello, did you come to say hi?
The dog ignores her and heads straight for a big pile of shit lying on the street. He bites into it with passion.
I just can’t even...
She starts walking towards the park. She sees a little child sitting up a tree playing with her smartphone. She looks around
Can anyone else see this? What is this, what the hell is this, what is happening?
She looks at her phone. No response
Whatever, okay, map, home... follow the blue dot. I am not the blue dot, I am not. I am my own person, I just follow the blue dot. Yes, I am just following the blue dot.
It skips to the other side of the sreet, I cross. It skips to the other side of the street, I cross. It skips to the other side of the street, I cross. It skips to the other side of the street, I cross.
Fuck the blue dot. It’s taking me around in squares... Can someone just tell me which way to go?
Siri, how long does it take to get home?
No, Siri, how long is the journey from here to there?
No... Siri, how do I get home?
What?
What?
What?
Never mind.
Siri, you’re a twat. Did you hear that? A twat! Thank you very much.
Still no response. No response. How were you thinking to send it to me, via message in a bottle? Christ what a pain in the ass.
She veers off the road and walks into the woods
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